HERDERS: an INTERVENTION

We fear that we might be committing Border Collie abuse. Maybe it is just a mild case of Border Collie misuse. WBP (Wild Bill Palmer) is our 3 legged Border Collie and the only sample of the breed we have had. Only knowing WBP we assume that all border collies are in perpetual puppy mode, or maybe we just have an extra special model.

Bill's instinct to herd animals is overwhelming. If given the opportunity he will herd something until the point of it's and his own exhaustion. We do not have sheep, and the cattle here are our neighbors - not needing to be herded for any reason and we sure do not want WBP to cause any problems with the neighbors livelihood. So nature has done what nature will do and we have a dog with a built in addiction that far exceeds anything we have ever seen on the TV show Intervention. His desire is strong but his herd is lacking.

WBP's most favorite substitute herd is our jack russel, Laura (aka Bitty). With just a glance of your eye and a nod of your head WBP will jump from any position and immediately scour all known areas for the Bitty. If she is sleeping WBP will stand or lie "pointing" at the Bitty and glancing back at you to make sure you know he has found the Bitty. If Bitty is moving he will gently guide her back to you. He is persistent, never quits and always gets his Bitty - though sometimes he may get overly excited and snap or nip at Bitty, but never a serious bite. We all thought this was funny the first 300 times WBP did it, though Bitty was not very thrilled. Bitty has become quite annoyed and when she wakes to find WBP standing over her, tongue out and drooling she immediately attacks him and pins him to the ground. When she walks away from the attack of course WBP jumps up completely unphased and begins the pursuit all over again.

Perhaps in search of a herd that does not try to rip his face off, WBP discovered the toads on the back porch one night. Toad is somewhat unpredictable, jumping any direction to get away from WBP. We leave the porch lights on at night to attract the bugs which always bring the Toad for WBP to play with. Without any direction WBP just follows Toad all around the backyard, nudging one way or another with the occasional snap but never a bite. WBP will chase Toad for hours foregoing food and water. Getting WBP to leave his Toad is nearly impossible without screaming "BILL! GET INSIDE THE HOUSE!"

If left outside until past bedtime you will find WBP, sleeping next to Toad - both exhausted. Some days we make WBP stay inside so Toad can get some of that food he came to the back porch for. Bill will just stand at the window, drooling and crying as he watches Toad hop around the back porch collecting his dinner.
As if that story was not sad and embarrassing enough, this may get WBP kicked out of the Border Collie breed all together. Our poor abused Border Collie, the Wild Bill Palmer, has taken to herding insects. Yep, Bill was caught herding Katydids one night just to get his fix. It was a sad sight really, one I am sure he is already regretting. His brothers and sister now look down on Bill with some shame and Bitty will no longer play with Bill. We have enrolled him in a 12 step program and we hope to get our Bill back.